WhAt I hAvE tO sAy….

How much can you expect from a person? I mean if you expect too much from them and he doesn’t deliver wouldn’t you be disappointed? Especially that person getting disappointed is you?

I was just talking to a colleague about this and she told me that reasonable expectation allows the receiving end to improve but unreasonable expectation will only frustrates and hurt one’s confidence. Well maybe a few of us can expect just a little bit more from the ones care of love. To me I don’t exactly expect much from a person but when it comes to something/someone that I really want it done. I do expect quite a bit from them and deliver up to a certain point. Through my experience I can name a person who expect a lot from me. MY SISTER. Yes my sister, she has high expectation from people especially me and the last thing that I wanna do is disappointing her. Honestly it’s not a pretty sight. hehehe. Well frankly speaking I don’t blame her, cause she’s a person who wants thing done perfectly. She’s more of a perfectionist. It’s her character, she works like that and at home she’s like that too. And I LOVE her.

Well anyways for other people, they expect great sexpectation instead. Ahaks. Speaking of which. A friend once told me that she once had such high “sexpectation” from her bf and it turn out to be a disaster. It all started when she said that she wanted to take things slow with this guy. So it actually took her 2 months to finally go with the flow. Well let’s just say that she wasn’t too impressed witht the outcome. Honestly I’ve met him more than twice and he seems to be a great guy for her, and he does have that look that says “hey babe I’m going to rip off your clothes” hahaha.. and she confirmed that he’s a great kisses, foreplay was awesome but unfortunately the sex was, and I quote “It’s TERRIBLE!!” well I told her that maybe he was nervous and he wanted to put on a great performance and maybe just maybe he was just not up to her expectation. Then again after all the pish posh, he indeed was nervous. Their second time, well iwas surprised that she gave him ad chance.. heheh.. knowing her long enough she woulda dumped him. But anyway, according to her, it was mind blowing. Lol she couldn’t stop talking about it. So thig is a lesson to learn. Don’t expect too much from a person ok?!?!?!

How long do you wait for Mr Right to come along? I was just talking to a friend yesterday and I asked her if she would like to join me and a few friends to a party. So that we could like meet guys, and she told me that she wasn’t interested. So knowing me, I was curious why wasn’t she interested other than the fact that she’s sill single and available. So she explained to me that she only dates men who are much older than she is. Well in another words mature men. She’s sticking to her preferences, which are older men and not “kids”. So I asked her again, “ what if he doesn’t come along then what next?” is she still going to wait for him? She replied, “as long as I’m single and I’m alright with the way I am” then I asked the marriage question and she said that, she’s not in a hurry to get married. In fact even if Mr. Right doesn’t come along, she couldn’t see herself in a wedding dress, walking down the aisle anyway. And I quote “ there’s no hard and fast rule saying that everybody must get married and be married” her definition of seeing herself getting married is like expecting pigs to climb trees. Hehehe.

Some how a part of me agrees with her and another part of me is telling me to wait for “HIM” to show up. Well, don’t get me wrong, I do believe in soul mates and true love but I’ve not experience any of it at all. Anyways, that’s beside the point. Some people will wait a lifetime for their soul mate to come and some had them living with them in front of them all this time. So back to my point, HOW LONG WOULD YOU WAIT FOR MR RIGHT TO COME???? As for me I’ve been waiting for him for bout 5 years already, I think I’m falling in love but I don’t really think it’s love, it’s more of lust than love. So what do people do when they feel like this? For me I guess I’ll buy shoes. Lol when I’m feeling down or depressed, buying shoes is therapy for me. And it’s been a while since I last bought shoes. So I guess it’s about time that I got a pair of new Vincci’s hehehe. The conclusion is if you wanna make things happen you better make the move. I know saying is easier than actually doing it. But hey you need to have balls to get balls. If you get my drift. =D

Have you even been accused for something that you didn’t do? I bet you have. My sister likes to do that to me. For example her digital camera. Initially it has 4 batteries, rechargeable batteries to be exact. So before we went back to Perak for CNY there was only 2 rechargeable batteries. She I told her bout it and she told me that she left the other 2 in her office. Ok fine, then a few days ago she wanted to use the camera, there wasn’t any power left in the batteries and then she started screaming at me for not being responsible for the other 2 batteries. I was like what the f**k? Was it I who lost the first 2 batteries? Then she calls me a bull shitter and she shouted at me in front of my mom, grandma, aunt, uncle and cousins. What the hell? And she also asked me to shut up? I answered cause I didn’t do anything wrong and she also wanted to slap me. If she wants to slap me so damn much just go ahead and get it over and done with. Each time she gets angry for nothing, it’s more like things that she done wrong and she gets angry with me and on top of tat she wants to slap me? Who the hell she thinks I am? Her punching bag? I know she’s going through a lot of stress in the office and also that my bro in law isn’t here but please don’t get it off me. Sometimes I just want to leave her there and let her get her own life alone. But then when I think bout it, she’s my family and family don’t ditch other family.

The thing is that she gets on my nerves so damn much and she takes me for a fool to be pushed around and when she’s angry I have to shut the f**k up? Would you say something is you’re not in the wrong? Would you stand up for yourself if you didn’t do it? My sister has always been the big bully in my life. Well what to do right? I live under her roof I have to obey her rules, but is this too much? And one more thing, after the shouting and screaming she told me to go to my room. LOL go to my room? I’m 22 not 12 babe. That was the funny thing. I almost burst out in laughter when she said that. I quote ‘ if your not happy go upstairs then” aka Go to your room!! Haha. Silly women.

Ok after all that had happened she don’t bother to apologize I mean she knows that she left the other 2 batteries in her office but she still choose to yell at me? I wonder what goes through her mind when she sleeps. Does she have a conscious when she does something wrong? How can a person sleep in peace? So in situations as such what do you do? I’ve always kept quite most of the time but sometimes people have to say what they have to say when they’re not in the wrong right/ you know sometimes I just wanna ask her to shut up!!! But there are consequences to bear like she’ll kick me out the house or slap me. I really should consider moving out very soon. Then again may be I should just shut the hell up and say “MY BAD!!”

At the age of 25-30, do you get sick of the dating game? I mean do you just want to stay at home and rot on your couch eating a huge tub of chocolate chip ice cream? I was just talking to a friend and she told me that she’s sick of the dating game. She’s just sick of meeting new people and go through the “getting to know you” process. Is it too must to handle after a long time of being in the game, until now? I think at that age people tend to be more conscious about their age and they just want to get hitched! If got me thinking. Is that was every women want? Get hitched? I’m sure most women just want to call it quits and just settle down. To me the dating game is literally a game. It’s a win or loose game. How much Is enough? I mean how do you know when enough is enough?

The Game = How do you play the game?

Ok so here it goes. 1st is THE lines “Can I buy the pretty lady a drink?” or the most famous pick up line “have we met before?” and then the exchange of names and on other occasions maybe exchange of numbers. If that works out you guys go on your 1st date and if that works out, 2nd date, 3rd date and so on so forth. That’s where the “ getting to know you” process begins. So at the age of 18-24, the dating game is fun. You meet new guys almost every time and you learned that some of them are totally jerks aka A-holes! Fine you gain the experience right? So what the hack? But the point is that when you hit your late 20s your game drive tends to go down word. It’s the way of life right? Well I’m just in my early 20s and I think the dating game is fun coz I’m not at the stage of giving up yet. But that’s me. I know a friend that is so sick of the game to the extend that she doesn’t want to step into the club no more. Well I guess she’s just sick of THE GAME!

Some people have 1 best friend, some have 2 best friends and maybe some have 3 best friends. As for me, I have 2 best friends and they are Fafa and Nana (Bebert not included, that’s because she’s always not around when I need her) Lol girls you know what I mean. Muahahaha. Man I’m mean. Ok back to the topic. My best friends and I are really close and god knows what we went through together. Through the thickest jungle to the thinnest thread and through good and bad times. I know I can count on them whenever and wherever. Like that one time when I had the biggest fight with my sis, Nana was there to accompany and pick me and even though Fafa was in Kota at that time she was still there to help me through the shite I went through. And even though I have friends, hack I have many friends but only true friends stick to you like glue even when u tell her that you’re ok. I would do the same for them if they have any problems. It’s like when they’re down and low I’ll try to hold them up and not let them fall to the ground.

If you would to ask me whom would I save if either one of them is drowning, I wouldn’t try cause I know I can only save one, I might just drown with them. So we actually made a deal that we would die together. Stick together to the end, meaning if either one of us would to die first (at the current moment Fafa is suicidal) hehehe.. ok all of us have a role to play. Fafa gets to pick the “Tree” I mean “Our Tree”, then Nana can join her and I’m only allowed to chill on the branches. Both of them agreed to ‘Hang’ but I told them if I would to die a different death I’ll just go and chill with them. =P this way I could still bug them in the after life. Hehehehe.. To cut the story short, we cherish each other’s friendship very much and don’t intend to break that friendship any time soon. We may have arguments but we will always agree on something eventually. Usually the argument is always between Fafa and I, for example the name of the singer who sang “butterfly kisses” Lol I said it was Michael Bolton and she said it’s not. Well I guess we’re still yet to find out who’s the singer gal.. =D So to describe how they are is like I said, Fafa is the strong one, Nana is the 1 who asks you shite load of questions when your building was shaking and I’m the chirpy 1 that will always crack a joke in between conversations.

Actually the reason that I’m writing this is that I know some people who don’t have a best friend even if they wanted one. Reason to this is that maybe they’re not suitable to have a best friends. Then again maybe they’re just not best friends material. Too bad. I actually had this friend (well I thought she was my friend) but anyway I told her stuffs that I wished I didn’t and things just turned our sour. When she changed into a bitch there’s where I just lost it. She lied and deceived me. So I eventually just stop talking to her and she don’t even bother to say hey to me so why should I even bother? Right? To the extend that the sight of her just makes me sick to my stomach and talking to her will just make things worst. I seriously hated her for quite some time but then again why bother? Why care about somebody when she doesn’t give a damn about your feelings right? So I decided to just forgive but I didn’t forget. I learn to just ignore her and pretend that she’s not in the same room as I was, and knowing that I don’t care made it better. Do I still hate her? Well sometimes I do but then again I learned that there’s no point getting furious over a bitch right? Did I fully forgive her? I did but I just choose not to speak about her again. So screw it!!!

Back to best friends. I feel that to have a best friend you need to be a best friend. Its takes 2 to tango right? Well it’s the same thing with best friends. The thing is that if you’re not a people person or either you’re a loner kind of person or maybe hate listening to people whine bout their shitty stuffs then your not best friend material. =D sorry to say that but it’s true. Being a best friend is not only by listening to her problems or helping if she’s in trouble. There’s more to that, I mean if you so happen to not have a date for your Valentines for instants. You can always chill with your best friend. See there’s so much more then listening. BUT if your best friends happen to sleep your boy friend/girl friend then you have every right to “kill” (maybe that’s a bit too much) ok maybe not kill but at least deserves a punch or a slap from you. (That’s better) and if they would to tell you that "it just happen” don’t freaking buy it. What? she trip, fell and landed on his dick? If this were Eminem he would just take out his gun and shoot those A holes. Ok STOP I will have to put the “Cheating Factor” in another chapter.

If you’re a 25-year-old girl and your crushie is 22. Do you feel weird? Does age really matter in a relationship? Hey I hear younger men tend to love you more. Well that’s what I heard not proven yet or maybe it has. Ok I happened to know a couple of my colleagues that is married to younger men. One of them has 2 kids and the other has one son. Both have very understanding husbands that love them dearly. Both husbands are slightly younger then the wives, probably about 3-4 years younger. When I asked them how they feel about the age difference, they said that it’s fine. So what if he’s younger than you? Just as long as he knows how to take care of you then why complain? What seems to be the problem? Well both of them are equally happy and for the record it’s not an arranged marriage.

The thing is that, how come it’s all right for the men to be older but weird for the men to be younger? I use to date a younger guy (more like a boy) even though he’s a year or two younger than me but I guess he is pretty mature for his age (at that time). So we had a lot of fun doing what adults in their 20’s would do (don’t even go there!!) until things went south. I guess it’s a small matter to me, no harm done except for his crushed feelings and my cruel opinion. Well shit happens! That’s what I always tell myself. =) I realized that at that particular period of time when we were “fighting” he was very immature about it. I felt like I was fighting with a 5 year old kid (literally) and I’m the bad guy?? So it got me thinking bout this age limit thingy. Maybe the macho ness is just an act or should I call it a “cover” you know that inside he’ll always be the younger guy to you.  To me I think for the mean time I should stick to “my age” kinda guy. If you know what I mean. Hehe.. =D

I think to some people when it happens, it just happens you know? Love stuck, that’s what they call it and to some women just will NOT date younger men (it’s their policy) no offence all right. =) Ok example of women like that is this. I have this friend (lets call him Eddie) and he likes this 24-year-old women and I could see that he does like her a lot but the problem is that she just cut him off after he told her how he felt and the funny thing that I don’t get is that he asked her before if she has a problem in dating younger men and she said NO! Then why did she blow him off by saying that he’s too young for her? Isn’t she contradicting herself? And Eddie is a great guy; I mean I’m not siding him just because he’s my friend and all. We practically grew up together, from playing in the sand making sand cakes till now. Eddie was pretty sad when she dumped him just because he’s slightly younger then she is. And so being such a good friend to him, we drank til we drop, ahem more like he dropped. LOL. He was so drunk, he had to sleep on my couch hahaha.. ok ok that’s not the point. The point is that why women say that they don’t mind dating younger men and yet they cut them off saying that they’re too young for her?? I’m just curious, well maybe it works for some and doesn’t for others. So for the women reading this, you tell me what do you think bout dating younger men and for you men reading this, you tell me what do you think bout dating older women. If you (women) picked “YES, you don’t mind dating younger men,” tell me why. If you (men) picked “YES, you don’t mind dating older women,” tell me why. Do you find them fascinating? Both young and old. Think bout it….

Do you know who you are? I mean do you really know who you really are? What you want in life and what makes you, YOU. Have you ever had a feeling that people look at you in a different way? I had that feeling. The people around my work place don’t take me seriously. Hey don’t get me wrong I love my job and the people I work with it’s just that they always see me a the youngest in the department and they always take advantage of me coz I’m nice and friendly. I know I’m 22 but come on, treat me equally. The crazy thing here is that everybody is married!!! LOL almost everybody here. There’s a few which are single. The point here is that I want people to take me seriously. When I do a great job for them they don’t see it but when I make a mistake there goes (*&^%$#$%@!##%%^). Especially my boss, he’s a perfectionist. He aspect you to be PERFECT. He picks on me constantly but hey which boss doesn’t pick on you right and what can I do?? He’s my boss!!! LOL. So what do you do? Do you change? There’s a saying that goes “some things just don’t change” and there’s another saying that goes “people change” which one are you? At this point I think to describe my boss it’s some things just don’t change!

Ok so back to soul searching. I was just on the phone with my best buddy, (Let’s call her Fran) this morning and she told me something that shocked me to the bone. I’ve always seen her as the strong one in our group. You can throw her problems and she’ll always find a way to “help” you solve it (aka scream some sense into you.) Yeah she’s ma bitch. Lol so back to the story that shocked me. TODAY she sounded so guard less. I mean she sounded vulnerable. So it all started with this guy that she’s seeing (or maybe not anymore) let’s call him Frankie. Now, Frankie is suppose to get married, STOP don’t judge her, it was an arranged marriage for him. So anyway they have been going out for almost 4 months now and they did separate for a while here and there its complicating and confusing if you ask me. So the 1st major breakup that Frankie & Fran had was when Fran told Frankie about Andrew. Initially Andrew proposed to Fran twice but she declined he still kept on trying to get Fran back, so he told her that he’ll be coming in to ask her hand in marriage for the last time this May 2007 and if she rejects his proposal again he’s going to give her up and the sweetest thing is that even though he knew about Fran’s relationship with Frankie, He still want to marry her. Well I thought she was dumb to cut Andrew off coz he’s such a good catch but then again she has her own reasons to do so. All right back to Frankie. Frankie knew about the proposal and so he thinks that she was better off with Andrew. He thought that Andrew would take better care of her and he also thought that there’s nobody better than Andrew that can take care of Fran. He said that it’s his sacrifice. (Men and their Sacrifices). The thing is that she hates the fact that he doesn’t understand her at all. She already stated a fact that she’s not in love with Andrew anymore and will not go back to him even if he begged but Frankie keeps pushing her to Andrew but later on they kissed and made up and then she found out that the reason he was pushing her away was that he was suppose to get married. Yeah bummer! His uncle actually arranged a marriage for him. Ok Question! Do people still do this? The whole arrange marriage shite? So that’s the first major breakup that they had. The second major one that shook me was when she said to me that she can’t bare to loose him, and that she loves him dearly. She never tells me mushy stuffs like this ever and for her to come to a point that Frankie is THE love of her life in that tone really got me thinking how much she loves this person. So I did any best friend would do, I called him. I heard her side of the story so it’s his turn to tell me his side of the story. He said that he was angry with her cause he told him earlier that she was going to go out with this guy who she happen to meet on the net and coincidently wanted to offer her a job. And so, both had a heated argument and said things that they don’t mean. You know the drill. Man is this complicating or what? Crap!! People’s drama. How come I don’t get drama like this? =) hehe.. Ok enough said. The point is that she’s still waiting for him to compromise and he’s waiting for her to change. But the question is that can you change a tiger’s stripe?

Here’s the deal. Fran told me that when the time comes for her to change her way of living, she will willingly change for the better. But if she does change but he’s still the same will she be on the losing side? Cause you changed for the man u love but he doesn’t change for the better. Is it fair? Does the saying “ some things just don’t change” and “people change” proofs it all? Think about it. It got me thinking. I believe in both saying. Cause I live both quotes. There are some things that I don’t intend to change and there are some things that I feel that I’ve changed for the better. But before you change you have to know who you are first. So I guess even though I’m only 22 I feel that as you grow older you tend to change in a way that you won’t even realized that you’ve changed and I bet eventually people will see a girl who has grown into a woman or a boy who has grown into a man.

Ladies what do you look for in a man? Nice? Sweet? Good Looking? caring? Know when to say the right thing at the right time? well let me tell you something.. 90% of my research says that women look for all the above mentioned in a man, here’s the reality check. THEY DON:T EXIST ANYMORE!!!! well maybe in fairy tales but in reality??? they’re not even close..

ok ladies there;s a few men that u need to be aware of.. which are

1) The player                     2) The unfaithful

3) The Sweet talker                               

so the definaton of the player. I’m sure most of u know at least one person who’s a player. Fortunately for me i know a couple of them. Honestly their DICK HEADS!!! alrite these are the men all women should stay far away as posible. Y u ask?? 1st of all they change their partners as often as they change their shirts. well even though they know where and when to say the sweetest thing to u. U better no fall for jerks like that. Honestly speaking they can be alot of fun but better not get urself into shite like that. Their whole plan is to go in for the tackle, hit a home run and waltz out the door . another saying " Bang Wamm THANK YOU!!!! MAM"

2nd defination - The Unfaithfull. So he’s with sumone for more then a year or 2, and to be precisely 4 years.. oops.. a little too much info.. anyways, he calls u and u call him n u guys started out as frens, so u thought to urself "hei wat the hell? no harm done by talking rite?" now there’s where ur dead WRONG!!!! keep this in mind, one thing always leads to another. u guys get mushy on the phone.. he says he misses u blah blah blah .. n then he says he wanna come c u (which he did), u guys had a "great" time, he kisses u, things get heated up N THEN he stops calling u. What do u do in times like this?? wish that u didnt c him? but u did.. wish u did let him kiss u? but i did.. how do u react in situations like this? r u strong enough to face it? NO!!!! gals men like this will never leave their galfrens, they might be "MR CHARMING" to u but they’re actually not. Gals if he could do this to his current galfren don’t u think he wont do the same thing he "had" with u TOWARDS u instead? ok short way to explain this is. IF he can cheat on her with u don;t u think he will cheat on u with a different gal? i bet HE 100% Will!!.

last but not least the 3rd defination - The Sweet Talker. So he’s sweet.. he says the nicest things bout u.. ur so beautiful, hearing ur voice just brightens my day, the smell of ur hair is like flowers in a field, blah blah blah.. of course its nice to listen to it.. to sum it;s corny.. Lol.. alrite.. y do u think they like to perk u up?? He wants to get u into bed with him!! yes yes yes the truth hurts.. how do i know this u ask? well i have a lot of frens tellin me their heartache with men like this.. yes.. the hit n run action.. perk u up.. make u fall deeply in love with him.. screw u n GOOD BYE!!! assholes arent they? well hei if there’s no assholes there will be no balance to life.. horse shit that’s wat i can say.. 

so back to topic of the day. How are u goin to find Prince Charming when there’s soo many warlocks around u? is he goin to ride in his shining armor on his white horse and sweap u off ur feet?? dude wake up it’s either their jackasses posing as prince charming of pervs trying to get a hard on.. ok Dont get me wrong.. i;m sure there’s that "speacial" sumone for each one of u, but the question is how long r u willing to wait for him? r u giving up hope? y hasn;t he shown up yet? well in time he’ll come eventually.  i’;m not saying that there’s no good men out there.. i’;m just saying that there’s not many good men out there anymore. so here’s my advise, if u so hapen to stumble upon a geeky looking person. take a good look at him. he might be prince charming.. then again he might b a psychotic killer.. hahaha lol. ok ok what i;m trying to say is that don’t try soo hard looking for HIM. when the time is right and god permits it you;ll might meet him sooner than u know it.. =)

These days love is so overated. They don’t really mean like how they use to be, i mean back in the olden days, people feel, think and show their affections differently. When making love is a sacret thing, but now the world changed and is still changing to the extend that SEX is a normal thing among youngster and for adults too. it’s just soo wild now a days…

Love! what does love mean?? does it mean that i’m into u, n ur into me that makes us in love? or is it when he/she hav sex with u? A very popular phrase ppl use now adays is " i love you but i;m not in love with you" what do they even mean by that? well thru my analysist i would put it this way.. i care bout u but i don;’t care enough to understand and get to know u.. is this the way to think when u say to that "special" sumone that u LOVE them? It mayb complicating for sum but to others it’s just a sentence where they are obligated to say it.. if u sit up all night just by thinking bout this pharse u might go insane sooner or later or then again u might just be in total misery.

How do u define a person when he/she says the I LOVE YOU sentence? Do they really mean it? or like i said that they’re obligated to say it? or then again mayb it’s their way of saying "hei, thanx for the amazing/mind blowing sex" lol.. or then again, mayb they "REALLY" mean it when they say I LOVE YOU. In my opinion they say it because they ‘think" they love you but it;s actually what they mean is ….." i love you but i;m not in love with you" that sucks doesn’t it? Well let me implicate a situation.. Just the other day i was having a heated up conversation with one of my close buddy. She told me that she’s seeing this guy and she thinks that he’s the ONE- defination of the ONE (fallin deeply in love?) mayb.. anyway, so i asked her if she loves him and without hesitation she said YES, i do love him. and i asked her again.. "are u IN LOVE with him?" then she said " i think i so". so at this point how do u know weather u just love or in love with that particular person? and for the record shes stil a virgin which shows that he’s not in for the amazin/mind blowing sex.. lol

ok next question. where can u find men who doesn;t treat u like a whore? i mean men will always b men rite? they need to fulfill their needs but so does women. don;t get me wrong.. i’m not saying that women don;t do wat men do the women sexually.. thru my experince with ppl i meet, WOMEN have sex like men too.. this is certain women and YES women just get in the game n out the door by dawn.. trust me there’s always people (men and women) who does the same thing and there are men and women who looks for the same thing.. but that’s another chapter. OK back to my point, which is people who takes LOVE as normal vocabulary in their daily lifes. The thing is y do u bother saying it when u don’t mean it? are they trying to ruin our lifes? or it’s just a game to them? ok so here’s my advise, don;t sleep with her/him just because he said i love u to u.. when it’;s done it;s DONE!! i know it;s hard to resist sumtimes but u need to know that there’s no turning back once it;s done.. u can’t undo it.. well for men there’s no harm done.. but for the women/ladies/gals out there it;s a one time oportunity.. so if u THINK u love him.. THINK again, it might just be lust instead. Don’t mix lust with love they’re  2 different entities. Think bout it…